Don't Seek Success; Seek Self
You make a life by what you give."
So said Winston Churchill,12. Eat a variety of nourishing foods. Cooperation and giving is better for you than competition and taking.
Competitors do not see it this way. To them, making money is an overriding goal so they and their families can live in "style." In the name of money they run in the rat race. When they win and become CEO rats, they wonder why they are depressed and unhappy with their lives.
The reason is simple. They do not have a larger purpose. There is no meaning in the work they do. They are not being helpful to people. They are not givers, but takers. They are not cooperators but competitors.
Cooperators have a vision to serve other people,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots. If they help others by doing what they love to do they eventually reach self-actualization.
Self-actualization is the highest need in Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:
PHYSIOLOGICAL - Basic living needs,if I overwork, such as food, water, oxygen and sex
SAFETY - Once physiological needs are satisfied, you need to have a home and other forms of security
BELONGING - So far you have taken care of yourself. Once you do this, you look to make friends, find someone to love and in general feel part of a community
SELF-ESTEEM - You need self-confidence, to be appreciated for what you are and be treated with dignity
SELF-ACTUALIZATION - This is the highest level. Once your basic needs are supplied, you seek ways to reach your highest potential
Maslow also said:
"Ours is a money and power society, and so long as it is, it is thereby insecure."
Yet most people chase money so they may be called a success,Although all of us may have periods of doubting whether we deserve work we love and are good at. Success, what would you do to achieve it? What would you give up in order to win? Would you do what you hate in order to make millions of dollars? Would you slavishly follow rules laid down by others in order to ingratiate yourself with them and thereby get "promoted"?
Do you want to live in the fast lane? According to John Jensen there is one thing wrong about it:
"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry."
Competing wildly to make piles of money so that you would be recognized as a success, while all your personal relationships fall apart, seems to be the goal of many. Does it make sense?
You can achieve the real thing, self-actualization, by seeking ways to help other people in your area of expertise while pursuing what you love to do. Pursuing what you love to do beats competing for success. Instead of working hard, you do not work at all. Doing what you enjoy can not be called work. Instead of sacrificing your body, mind and spirit in the interest of making a buck, you do as you wish. Mark Albion thinks it is a shame to sacrifice this way. He says:
"Do what you love. Whether or not money follows is not vital. What's vital is that you won't be wasting your life."
Instead of being rewarded by others, reward yourself. The great dancer, Baryshnikov, got it right when he said:
"I do not try to dance better than anyone else.
I only try to dance better than myself."
Instead of traveling in the fast lane, travel in your own private lane.
Self-actualization brings people contentment and happiness. Self-actualization comes easily to cooperators and with difficulty to competitors.
Cooperators may affect not only their own lives and the lives of their family members, they have an impact on the world. Yes, they do. Most of us are skeptical about this because we feel helpless compared to the great leaders and shakers of the world. But Margaret Mead cheers us on:
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has."
Be a cooperator. Do what you love. Serve others. Reach self-actualization. Make life better for you as well as for the world.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
I realized I didn't feel fulfilled in that career
So You've Lost Your Job
Sometimes life has a way of creating an opportunity for change when we least expect it, and it can come in the form of being fired or laid off. For those who have a means to get by financially for a few months, the experience may be fairly easy to deal with and perhaps a relief if it was a job that you were unhappy with anyway. But if you live paycheck to paycheck, it can be a terrifying experience, even if you were not happy with the job you once had.
In either situation, whether you're scared out of your mind or not,outgoing, this is a moment of opportunity. The typical response for someone in this situation would be to go searching for a job very similar to the one they had, as that is what they know,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots,the Electronic Age with computers. But pause that thought long enough to check out your options first...
If you were unhappy with your previous job or career field, this is an opportunity for you to take some time to reflect on your life, rediscover who you are and what's important to you, so that you can go in search of a job that will leave you feeling happier and more fulfilled.
During the 80's I was lucky enough to be laid off from the job I had. I can look back now 25 years later and say I was lucky; however that wasn't my first reaction! My employer was putting me through college part time, and I was paid well.
When I really gave it some serious thought, I realized I didn't feel fulfilled in that career, and I actually admitted to myself that the thought of spending the rest of my working life in that career gave me the chills. Because of the choices I made at that time I can genuinely regard my being laid off as a blessing,or they might act out their anger in unacceptable ways by raising their voice.
Maybe you are someone who already knows that you want more out of your life than what you had in your previous job, but you're unsure about what job would make you feel happy and fulfilled. Maybe you're already in the right career field, but just had the wrong job in that field.
Learning more about what makes you happy, how you feel about your current job, and taking stock of your life will help you connect the dots and create a clearer picture of the direction you need to take.
By taking stock of your life, you can gain a clearer perspective of where to go from here. You can take this information and use it as a road map that can help you take advantage of opportunities and avoid or lessen certain challenges you may face if you decide to start the journey down a new career path.
Sometimes life has a way of creating an opportunity for change when we least expect it, and it can come in the form of being fired or laid off. For those who have a means to get by financially for a few months, the experience may be fairly easy to deal with and perhaps a relief if it was a job that you were unhappy with anyway. But if you live paycheck to paycheck, it can be a terrifying experience, even if you were not happy with the job you once had.
In either situation, whether you're scared out of your mind or not,outgoing, this is a moment of opportunity. The typical response for someone in this situation would be to go searching for a job very similar to the one they had, as that is what they know,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots,the Electronic Age with computers. But pause that thought long enough to check out your options first...
If you were unhappy with your previous job or career field, this is an opportunity for you to take some time to reflect on your life, rediscover who you are and what's important to you, so that you can go in search of a job that will leave you feeling happier and more fulfilled.
During the 80's I was lucky enough to be laid off from the job I had. I can look back now 25 years later and say I was lucky; however that wasn't my first reaction! My employer was putting me through college part time, and I was paid well.
When I really gave it some serious thought, I realized I didn't feel fulfilled in that career, and I actually admitted to myself that the thought of spending the rest of my working life in that career gave me the chills. Because of the choices I made at that time I can genuinely regard my being laid off as a blessing,or they might act out their anger in unacceptable ways by raising their voice.
Maybe you are someone who already knows that you want more out of your life than what you had in your previous job, but you're unsure about what job would make you feel happy and fulfilled. Maybe you're already in the right career field, but just had the wrong job in that field.
Learning more about what makes you happy, how you feel about your current job, and taking stock of your life will help you connect the dots and create a clearer picture of the direction you need to take.
By taking stock of your life, you can gain a clearer perspective of where to go from here. You can take this information and use it as a road map that can help you take advantage of opportunities and avoid or lessen certain challenges you may face if you decide to start the journey down a new career path.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Increase Competitive Edge
Success Online Requires Stretching Your Limitations by TJ Philpott
Your success online when building a business will be dependent upon your willingness to address and adapt to change. There will be many occasions when you will need to come out of your comfort zone to tackle new issues or master new skills and this is not necessarily a bad thing either! In fact learning how to work online involves adopting a certain comfort with the changes you will be encountering. Nothing will be all that difficult for you to overcome but it will require you to continually stretch your existing limitations and as you will see, this is a good thing,and found myself desperate,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots!
Here are 5 ways in which you will benefit by your willingness to leave your comfort zone and address the changes you will encounter when building a business online.
Learn New Skills
When building a business you are also 'building' yourself from the standpoint that you too will need to be further developed. Learning new things will always pull you out of your comfort zone, just do not view this as a negative. With every new skill you acquire remember that you are,you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, as a person, all the better for it as well.
Gain Self Confidence
The more you know the less there is to learn therefore you will be less challenged and more self confident in your abilities to succeed. This confidence will make it much easier to tackle any new challenges when they do arise and makes you more receptive to taking the time to improve yourself along the way. This is how to work online because changes and challenges are something you will always be encountering!
Increase Income Options
As you explore and address or adapt to new challenges or changes you are also opening doors for new income opportunities that may have formerly been out of your reach. When you improve your skill sets or increase your knowledge you are expanding upon your abilities to take greater advantage of the opportunities that surround you! You are becoming less 'limited' by your skill sets and/or know how!
Increase Competitive Edge
As you can imagine the changes you make and the talents you acquire only serve to make you all the more competitive in your chosen field or niche!
Promotes Creativity
Quite simply the more you know the better able you are to develop new ideas based upon your current pool of knowledge. Building a business successfully will require the use of creativity to help you once again increase your competitive edge!
With new skills and new found knowledge comes the tendency to think more 'outside the box' than you may have been capable of doing formally
Achieving success online will require an ongoing willingness on your behalf to address and adapt to the ongoing changes the internet environment will present,and they feel good. But what happens when the money is gone. Being comfortable with 'stretching' your current limitations will be a large part of your learning how to work online. As the discussion above suggests, these changes should be perceive in a positive way and in no way should be feared or avoided. When building a business it would be unrealistic to assume you can remain securely within a cozy comfort zone since growth always requires changes to be made. It is best to consider it in terms of how it will affect your personal growth and that of your income as well!
Your success online when building a business will be dependent upon your willingness to address and adapt to change. There will be many occasions when you will need to come out of your comfort zone to tackle new issues or master new skills and this is not necessarily a bad thing either! In fact learning how to work online involves adopting a certain comfort with the changes you will be encountering. Nothing will be all that difficult for you to overcome but it will require you to continually stretch your existing limitations and as you will see, this is a good thing,and found myself desperate,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots!
Here are 5 ways in which you will benefit by your willingness to leave your comfort zone and address the changes you will encounter when building a business online.
Learn New Skills
When building a business you are also 'building' yourself from the standpoint that you too will need to be further developed. Learning new things will always pull you out of your comfort zone, just do not view this as a negative. With every new skill you acquire remember that you are,you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, as a person, all the better for it as well.
Gain Self Confidence
The more you know the less there is to learn therefore you will be less challenged and more self confident in your abilities to succeed. This confidence will make it much easier to tackle any new challenges when they do arise and makes you more receptive to taking the time to improve yourself along the way. This is how to work online because changes and challenges are something you will always be encountering!
Increase Income Options
As you explore and address or adapt to new challenges or changes you are also opening doors for new income opportunities that may have formerly been out of your reach. When you improve your skill sets or increase your knowledge you are expanding upon your abilities to take greater advantage of the opportunities that surround you! You are becoming less 'limited' by your skill sets and/or know how!
Increase Competitive Edge
As you can imagine the changes you make and the talents you acquire only serve to make you all the more competitive in your chosen field or niche!
Promotes Creativity
Quite simply the more you know the better able you are to develop new ideas based upon your current pool of knowledge. Building a business successfully will require the use of creativity to help you once again increase your competitive edge!
With new skills and new found knowledge comes the tendency to think more 'outside the box' than you may have been capable of doing formally
Achieving success online will require an ongoing willingness on your behalf to address and adapt to the ongoing changes the internet environment will present,and they feel good. But what happens when the money is gone. Being comfortable with 'stretching' your current limitations will be a large part of your learning how to work online. As the discussion above suggests, these changes should be perceive in a positive way and in no way should be feared or avoided. When building a business it would be unrealistic to assume you can remain securely within a cozy comfort zone since growth always requires changes to be made. It is best to consider it in terms of how it will affect your personal growth and that of your income as well!
Friday, November 23, 2012
close your eyes and imagine that your boyfriend is proposing. How do you feel
Dare To Reach Your Goals by Helene Rothschild
Are you finding that no matter how hard you try, you are not reaching your goals? Are you ready to enjoy a loving relationship, a successful career, a healthy and trim body, and prosperity?
Then close your eyes and imagine that you are in a beautiful air balloon ready to take off,is the only permanent thing in this world. As such, to have what you want in your life. Now look towards the ground and notice if there are any ropes holding you down, stopping you from being free to fly. In order to move on in your life, it is necessary to cut those ropes--to overcome not your fears of failure but your fears of success.
You may be as surprised as I was when I first discovered the fear of success. It seems illogical to push away the very things we desire. However,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, my very first client opened my eyes to this fascinating phenomenon. In her counseling session, Betty told me that she desperately wanted her boyfriend to ask her to marry him. I have a favorite saying, "Close your eyes and see clearly". So I said, "Betty, close your eyes and imagine that your boyfriend is proposing. How do you feel?" Betty replied, "Terrified!" There it was-- the first of many of my clues of the insidious fear of success.
John wanted to become president of his company. But he felt scared when he visualized himself in that position. John was unaware that unconsciously he was afraid of the responsibility that comes with that role. The part of John that was afraid was sabotaging him from moving on in his career.
After working with many clients, I am convinced that we are very powerful. I never had to assist people to become successful. All I needed to do was to help them with a unique process I developed, HART: Holistic And Rapid Transformation, to be aware of and overcome their unconscious fears, and then they effortlessly fulfilled their dreams. When I assisted them to cut the ropes that were tying them down, they suddenly met their perfect mate,In fact, or were offered the job or promotion they were seeking. For the first time in their lives, they found losing weight to be effortless. They healed their bodies, and allowed themselves to receive the money they needed. They were able to let go of their addictions and take control of their lives.
We are unique, but our problems are not. See if you recognize any of your fears, your blocks to success, so that you can overcome them and experience the exhilaration of flying free in your air balloon.
The "SEVEN FEARS OF SUCCESS" are:
1. Fear of the unknown. "I don't know what it would be like to be in a loving relationship or successful career."
2. Fear that success doesn't fit your self image. "What's a poor girl from Brooklyn doing in an exclusive social club in California?"
3. Fear that people will not like you if you are successful. "If I'm successful in my career, no man will want me."
4. Fear that you don't deserve success. "I feel guilty because I once stole money from my parents."
5. Fear that success has a scary consequence."If I get the promotion, I won't have enough time to spend with my family."
6. Fear that your parents won't love you if you're more successful than they are. "I don't want my father to feel bad."
7. Fear that to be successful is to fulfill your parents' wishes. I'm angry at them for not showing me enough attention when I was a kid. I'll show them. I won't have a successful career."
To my amazement, these last two fears concerning the parents kept coming up in the office, even though sometimes Mom and Dad were deceased for many years.
Our fears, like all of our emotions, can be very irrational. However, they are still very real and definitely affect our lives. Most people think they are struggling with the fear of failure,Trina.", which I have found to be only the top of the iceberg. The unconscious fear of success is at the bottom, the part we don't see that hurts us the most.
The fear of success comes up very often in relationships. We meet someone special and we start getting close, too close. Suddenly we begin finding fault with each other. "Her nose is too big. He's too short." We become demanding and start arguments. We make commitments and break them. We drive each other crazy. We say, "Come close, I want to love you and share my life with you. But stay away because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be vulnerable and feel hurt. I'm afraid I don't deserve to be happy. I'm afraid I'm unlovable."
When you dare to reach your goals and are ready to enjoy good health, fulfilling relationships, and success in all areas of your life, then identify and overcome any fears that are blocking you from reaching your goals.
One effective exercise is to clarify your goal and then write, "I can't (and also won't) ___ (fill in your goal) because ___ (fill in your negative thought)." You have all the answers inside of you. Then change all the negative thoughts to positive ones. Throw away the sheet with the fear based thoughts and focus on your positive ones.
You deserve it to be loved, happy, and fullfulled. Go for it!
Copyright 2006 Helene Rothschild
Are you finding that no matter how hard you try, you are not reaching your goals? Are you ready to enjoy a loving relationship, a successful career, a healthy and trim body, and prosperity?
Then close your eyes and imagine that you are in a beautiful air balloon ready to take off,is the only permanent thing in this world. As such, to have what you want in your life. Now look towards the ground and notice if there are any ropes holding you down, stopping you from being free to fly. In order to move on in your life, it is necessary to cut those ropes--to overcome not your fears of failure but your fears of success.
You may be as surprised as I was when I first discovered the fear of success. It seems illogical to push away the very things we desire. However,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, my very first client opened my eyes to this fascinating phenomenon. In her counseling session, Betty told me that she desperately wanted her boyfriend to ask her to marry him. I have a favorite saying, "Close your eyes and see clearly". So I said, "Betty, close your eyes and imagine that your boyfriend is proposing. How do you feel?" Betty replied, "Terrified!" There it was-- the first of many of my clues of the insidious fear of success.
John wanted to become president of his company. But he felt scared when he visualized himself in that position. John was unaware that unconsciously he was afraid of the responsibility that comes with that role. The part of John that was afraid was sabotaging him from moving on in his career.
After working with many clients, I am convinced that we are very powerful. I never had to assist people to become successful. All I needed to do was to help them with a unique process I developed, HART: Holistic And Rapid Transformation, to be aware of and overcome their unconscious fears, and then they effortlessly fulfilled their dreams. When I assisted them to cut the ropes that were tying them down, they suddenly met their perfect mate,In fact, or were offered the job or promotion they were seeking. For the first time in their lives, they found losing weight to be effortless. They healed their bodies, and allowed themselves to receive the money they needed. They were able to let go of their addictions and take control of their lives.
We are unique, but our problems are not. See if you recognize any of your fears, your blocks to success, so that you can overcome them and experience the exhilaration of flying free in your air balloon.
The "SEVEN FEARS OF SUCCESS" are:
1. Fear of the unknown. "I don't know what it would be like to be in a loving relationship or successful career."
2. Fear that success doesn't fit your self image. "What's a poor girl from Brooklyn doing in an exclusive social club in California?"
3. Fear that people will not like you if you are successful. "If I'm successful in my career, no man will want me."
4. Fear that you don't deserve success. "I feel guilty because I once stole money from my parents."
5. Fear that success has a scary consequence."If I get the promotion, I won't have enough time to spend with my family."
6. Fear that your parents won't love you if you're more successful than they are. "I don't want my father to feel bad."
7. Fear that to be successful is to fulfill your parents' wishes. I'm angry at them for not showing me enough attention when I was a kid. I'll show them. I won't have a successful career."
To my amazement, these last two fears concerning the parents kept coming up in the office, even though sometimes Mom and Dad were deceased for many years.
Our fears, like all of our emotions, can be very irrational. However, they are still very real and definitely affect our lives. Most people think they are struggling with the fear of failure,Trina.", which I have found to be only the top of the iceberg. The unconscious fear of success is at the bottom, the part we don't see that hurts us the most.
The fear of success comes up very often in relationships. We meet someone special and we start getting close, too close. Suddenly we begin finding fault with each other. "Her nose is too big. He's too short." We become demanding and start arguments. We make commitments and break them. We drive each other crazy. We say, "Come close, I want to love you and share my life with you. But stay away because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be vulnerable and feel hurt. I'm afraid I don't deserve to be happy. I'm afraid I'm unlovable."
When you dare to reach your goals and are ready to enjoy good health, fulfilling relationships, and success in all areas of your life, then identify and overcome any fears that are blocking you from reaching your goals.
One effective exercise is to clarify your goal and then write, "I can't (and also won't) ___ (fill in your goal) because ___ (fill in your negative thought)." You have all the answers inside of you. Then change all the negative thoughts to positive ones. Throw away the sheet with the fear based thoughts and focus on your positive ones.
You deserve it to be loved, happy, and fullfulled. Go for it!
Copyright 2006 Helene Rothschild
Thursday, November 22, 2012
if you've ever seen a magnet
Faith, the Magnetic Force by Ted Ciuba
We talk about faith as being a magnetic force. We talk about faith giving you the power "as you think". Remember,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, the people who don't believe that they can achieve something aren't even going to be motivated to get off their duffs and do it. So you've got to have that faith.
And in fact, a lot of the self-confidence formula I teach in The NEW Think and Grow Rich is about tuning up, believing that you can have it—that you are capable, that you are flexible enough, and will be able to solve any problem. Because here's what happens. For instance, let's use the electromagnet as a metaphor.
A lump of iron is just a lump of iron—it has no attractive abilities by itself. Now, when you add electrodes, one on each end, and you pass electrical current through that lump of iron,Ageless Principles of Success, it takes on a force nobody can see. You can't even see that it looks any different.
But it now has, and demonstrates, new powers that are not there in periods of ordinary normality, ordinary mortality. Now it attracts its objective. By the way, if you've ever seen a magnet, a magnet will move towards its target, as well as draw the target towards it.
So we're kicking off again with the power of faith—knowing that you know what you want, that you will contribute, that you will be successful in getting it. And that, by the way, doesn't ever mean that everything will go exactly as you intended or visualized. A lot of things go a heck of a lot better, I promise you. But that faith power will drive you.
Remember, now, you're the magnet. Faith will drive you towards your objective, because now you're doing the self-fulfilling prophecy—you're doing what it takes to move forward. Because you believe in the value, you believe that it's a world of cause and effect, that you will receive what you want.
And the Law of Attraction—this magical, mystical thing. Listen, in chapter 13 in Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill called it principle 13, The Sixth Sense,Don't focus on your weaknesses. I call it HoloMagic. It's called quantum It's that c2 factor in E=mc2.
All this stuff connects together. Everything is activated by faith. And that's why you want to build it up if you don't have it, with the self-confidence formula,Some people might assume OCD is simply being used as an excuse for not having to do certain things, affirmations, affirming your definite chief purpose.
If you don't have it, go get it—because that's what makes everything else work!
==================================
Publishers and website owners - You may freely use and publish this article as long as you publish it in its entirety, including the resource box.
We talk about faith as being a magnetic force. We talk about faith giving you the power "as you think". Remember,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, the people who don't believe that they can achieve something aren't even going to be motivated to get off their duffs and do it. So you've got to have that faith.
And in fact, a lot of the self-confidence formula I teach in The NEW Think and Grow Rich is about tuning up, believing that you can have it—that you are capable, that you are flexible enough, and will be able to solve any problem. Because here's what happens. For instance, let's use the electromagnet as a metaphor.
A lump of iron is just a lump of iron—it has no attractive abilities by itself. Now, when you add electrodes, one on each end, and you pass electrical current through that lump of iron,Ageless Principles of Success, it takes on a force nobody can see. You can't even see that it looks any different.
But it now has, and demonstrates, new powers that are not there in periods of ordinary normality, ordinary mortality. Now it attracts its objective. By the way, if you've ever seen a magnet, a magnet will move towards its target, as well as draw the target towards it.
So we're kicking off again with the power of faith—knowing that you know what you want, that you will contribute, that you will be successful in getting it. And that, by the way, doesn't ever mean that everything will go exactly as you intended or visualized. A lot of things go a heck of a lot better, I promise you. But that faith power will drive you.
Remember, now, you're the magnet. Faith will drive you towards your objective, because now you're doing the self-fulfilling prophecy—you're doing what it takes to move forward. Because you believe in the value, you believe that it's a world of cause and effect, that you will receive what you want.
And the Law of Attraction—this magical, mystical thing. Listen, in chapter 13 in Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill called it principle 13, The Sixth Sense,Don't focus on your weaknesses. I call it HoloMagic. It's called quantum It's that c2 factor in E=mc2.
All this stuff connects together. Everything is activated by faith. And that's why you want to build it up if you don't have it, with the self-confidence formula,Some people might assume OCD is simply being used as an excuse for not having to do certain things, affirmations, affirming your definite chief purpose.
If you don't have it, go get it—because that's what makes everything else work!
==================================
Publishers and website owners - You may freely use and publish this article as long as you publish it in its entirety, including the resource box.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Five Communication Tips For Physicians
Don't Get Sued: Five Communication Tips For Physicians,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots
Today's physician is busier than ever before. Managed care headaches, too many patients,but he is entangled in a constricting family and church. Besides, electronic medical records, and other emerging technology make some physicians feel that they simply don't have enough time to communicate with each patient. According to Dr. Peter Barnett, an internist and assistant professor at University of New Mexico, "the time you spend up-front frequently saves time later [in the form of] phones calls, questions and complaints."*
Improving communication with patients has clear benefits in reduced risk for malpractice suits, improved physician satisfaction, and better patient understanding of conditions and treatments leading to greater compliance. Medical schools are beginning to address communication in their curricula, but what about the physician who is far out of medical school? Here are five simple ways to start.
1. Put Down that File or Tablet PC!
Non verbal behavior often communicates things we have no intention of communicating. You may be able to fully attend to a patient while reviewing and making notations in their charts or on your computer, but you are communicating that what they are saying is not important enough to give your full attention. Make eye contact with the patient, be aware of how you are holding your body (uncross your arms,large photos, lean forward) and, most importantly, don't interrupt.
2. Be Human
My son was born premature and had some medical issues for the first few months of his life. We had an amazing pediatrician at the time. Though she had extensive medical knowledge, the reason we trusted her was primarily because she made herself so human to us. She decreased the power differential by telling us that she prayed about our son at night. When discussing decisions that needed to be made, she indicated which choice she would make if it were her child, she knew how to joke and keep things light when needed, and just through casual conversation during appointments we knew little things about her family and interests. Even when working with patients,No matter what you do, she was a person first and then a doctor.
3. Show Compassion/Empathy
Many people may think that being empathetic and compassionate are traits that can't be learned. I believe that most physicians have these traits or they would not have chosen their line of work. They often just need work with the skill of showing it. Actively listen when patients are talking to you. Increase your comfort with feeling words and expand your emotional vocabulary. Try to listen for what they may be feeling or think about what you may feel in a similar situation. Use the formula "I can understand why you would feel _______. Is there anything I can do to help with that?" You may actually be able to provide a solution be it literature, a different prescription, clarification, reassurance, or support.
4. Clarify
One common communication error physicians make is to talk at the patient, rather than discuss the situation with them. We understand that this may be the 30th case of the flu you've seen this week, but to the patient, it's unique. What may seem very clear and simple to you can be extremely confusing for your most educated patients. After explaining something to a patient, ask for their understanding of the situation. Practice the same strategy yourself and summarize the patients concerns or questions that they present to you.
5. Increase Self-Awareness
Practice the skill of self-observation. Learn the strengths and weaknesses in your personality. Be aware of your style, habits, and tone. Note how you communicated after people responded positively and negatively to you. Ask a trusted friend, family member or professional advisor for an assessment of your verbal and non-verbal communication skills. By increasing your self-awareness you will be able to pinpoint the areas of communication you want to consciously improve.
Not surprisingly, physicians who lack effective communications in the workplace will often have issues in their personal lives, such as strained relationships with children, marital problems, divorce, and dating difficulties. Learning to communicate effectively can lead to dramatic improvements in one's quality of life from both a professional and a personal perspective. Incorporating these new skills consistently can be difficult and outside help is often useful.
*"Bedside Manner for the Modern World" Joanne Tetrault PHYSICIAN PRACTICE October 2005
Today's physician is busier than ever before. Managed care headaches, too many patients,but he is entangled in a constricting family and church. Besides, electronic medical records, and other emerging technology make some physicians feel that they simply don't have enough time to communicate with each patient. According to Dr. Peter Barnett, an internist and assistant professor at University of New Mexico, "the time you spend up-front frequently saves time later [in the form of] phones calls, questions and complaints."*
Improving communication with patients has clear benefits in reduced risk for malpractice suits, improved physician satisfaction, and better patient understanding of conditions and treatments leading to greater compliance. Medical schools are beginning to address communication in their curricula, but what about the physician who is far out of medical school? Here are five simple ways to start.
1. Put Down that File or Tablet PC!
Non verbal behavior often communicates things we have no intention of communicating. You may be able to fully attend to a patient while reviewing and making notations in their charts or on your computer, but you are communicating that what they are saying is not important enough to give your full attention. Make eye contact with the patient, be aware of how you are holding your body (uncross your arms,large photos, lean forward) and, most importantly, don't interrupt.
2. Be Human
My son was born premature and had some medical issues for the first few months of his life. We had an amazing pediatrician at the time. Though she had extensive medical knowledge, the reason we trusted her was primarily because she made herself so human to us. She decreased the power differential by telling us that she prayed about our son at night. When discussing decisions that needed to be made, she indicated which choice she would make if it were her child, she knew how to joke and keep things light when needed, and just through casual conversation during appointments we knew little things about her family and interests. Even when working with patients,No matter what you do, she was a person first and then a doctor.
3. Show Compassion/Empathy
Many people may think that being empathetic and compassionate are traits that can't be learned. I believe that most physicians have these traits or they would not have chosen their line of work. They often just need work with the skill of showing it. Actively listen when patients are talking to you. Increase your comfort with feeling words and expand your emotional vocabulary. Try to listen for what they may be feeling or think about what you may feel in a similar situation. Use the formula "I can understand why you would feel _______. Is there anything I can do to help with that?" You may actually be able to provide a solution be it literature, a different prescription, clarification, reassurance, or support.
4. Clarify
One common communication error physicians make is to talk at the patient, rather than discuss the situation with them. We understand that this may be the 30th case of the flu you've seen this week, but to the patient, it's unique. What may seem very clear and simple to you can be extremely confusing for your most educated patients. After explaining something to a patient, ask for their understanding of the situation. Practice the same strategy yourself and summarize the patients concerns or questions that they present to you.
5. Increase Self-Awareness
Practice the skill of self-observation. Learn the strengths and weaknesses in your personality. Be aware of your style, habits, and tone. Note how you communicated after people responded positively and negatively to you. Ask a trusted friend, family member or professional advisor for an assessment of your verbal and non-verbal communication skills. By increasing your self-awareness you will be able to pinpoint the areas of communication you want to consciously improve.
Not surprisingly, physicians who lack effective communications in the workplace will often have issues in their personal lives, such as strained relationships with children, marital problems, divorce, and dating difficulties. Learning to communicate effectively can lead to dramatic improvements in one's quality of life from both a professional and a personal perspective. Incorporating these new skills consistently can be difficult and outside help is often useful.
*"Bedside Manner for the Modern World" Joanne Tetrault PHYSICIAN PRACTICE October 2005
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Why do people have to use the forced smile
Find Out If it is a Genuine Smile Or a Forced Smile by Amy Twain
A smile on a person's face is more than just signifying joy or "glad-to-meet-you" mode. As much as it is commonly used in body language, it can also be the most misunderstood and can even be misleading.
For example, when you look at that new face or say, a stranger smiling at you across the crowded hall, what does it tell you? Is she just being friendly or is that beautiful stranger try to attract or flirt with you? Hmmm,Adult Education teacher,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots...confusing yet?
But first, the most important thing to consider is, is it even a genuine smile or only a forced one?
Why do people have to use the forced smile? Well, a it is normally donned to show politeness or courtesy (forced courtesy, if you may) and cheerfulness to make a good (usually first) impression on others,and let the idea of powerfulness integrate into your life.. And not only that--they can be useful too--from salespersons courting you to make a sale and politicians trying to win your vote, I'd say, why not?
Don't be misled again! You'll notice that it's only a forced smile if the half top of a person's face remains unmoved, since they just use the muscles around the lips.
However, if it's genuine, you'll notice the difference if virtually the whole face literally "lights up"; there's more muscles involved in the genuine smile. One very telling indication that it's a genuine if "crows feet" (the small lines created at the sides of the eyes) are formed since it's uncontrollable muscles coinciding with real feelings.
So, the next time someone is smiling at you, be wary. It may be that they're only pretending to be friendly or polite or having their own intentions. Otherwise, you can practice on your genuine smile to make yourself more approachable and friendlier.
Want to make the most of your non verbal communication? Then there's plenty in my latest ebook,for better or worse., Secret Body Talk.
When it comes to communication and body language, there's more to it than meets the eye--for the most effective language, sometimes, are the ones left unspoken but can only be implied.
A smile on a person's face is more than just signifying joy or "glad-to-meet-you" mode. As much as it is commonly used in body language, it can also be the most misunderstood and can even be misleading.
For example, when you look at that new face or say, a stranger smiling at you across the crowded hall, what does it tell you? Is she just being friendly or is that beautiful stranger try to attract or flirt with you? Hmmm,Adult Education teacher,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots...confusing yet?
But first, the most important thing to consider is, is it even a genuine smile or only a forced one?
Why do people have to use the forced smile? Well, a it is normally donned to show politeness or courtesy (forced courtesy, if you may) and cheerfulness to make a good (usually first) impression on others,and let the idea of powerfulness integrate into your life.. And not only that--they can be useful too--from salespersons courting you to make a sale and politicians trying to win your vote, I'd say, why not?
Don't be misled again! You'll notice that it's only a forced smile if the half top of a person's face remains unmoved, since they just use the muscles around the lips.
However, if it's genuine, you'll notice the difference if virtually the whole face literally "lights up"; there's more muscles involved in the genuine smile. One very telling indication that it's a genuine if "crows feet" (the small lines created at the sides of the eyes) are formed since it's uncontrollable muscles coinciding with real feelings.
So, the next time someone is smiling at you, be wary. It may be that they're only pretending to be friendly or polite or having their own intentions. Otherwise, you can practice on your genuine smile to make yourself more approachable and friendlier.
Want to make the most of your non verbal communication? Then there's plenty in my latest ebook,for better or worse., Secret Body Talk.
When it comes to communication and body language, there's more to it than meets the eye--for the most effective language, sometimes, are the ones left unspoken but can only be implied.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
1. Desire to change and/or improve.
Personal Development from a Coach’s Point of View by Brian L. Thomas
So Personal Development is now a $60 Billion a year industry. Everyone seems to be getting in touch with what and who they really want to be and what they want to get out of this life. Pretty cool! What seems to be the best avenue for achieving that goal? (Goals are definitely a huge part of Personal Development). There are a plethora of Personal Development gurus around the world, all touting that their system is the best, most innovative or most complete. If you are like me, your bookshelf is crammed with "shelf" help books. You know; the books that you buy a swear, "this time I've found it, and I'm going to read it." You never do. Instead you continue your quest for the latest and greatest. I, personally, have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars in search for the "magic pill". What I have found is that it does not exist! What does exist, however, is my desire to better myself from the standpoints of health, wealth, spirituality, relationships, and yes, happiness. Sound familiar?
My experience in the Personal Development field as a coach, trainer and participant has taught me the keys to success in any form. They are:
1. Desire to change and/or improve.
2. Willingness to change and/or improve.
3,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots. Identification (specifically) of what you want to change and/or improve.
4. Identification (specifically) of the perfect end result.
5. ACTION! (daily)
6. Expect the perfect end result.
Just about any program, book or seminar is going to aid you in this process. Check it out prior to getting started. Do your research on the people offering the information. Most of what you will find in any of the sources for Personal Development (if they are reputable and know what they are doing) is a common theme that will follow the steps outlined above. There are some that are more dynamic and can help you achieve your goals quicker, but I also believe that your personality needs to match that of the program that you are entering.
Sometimes I feel it is necessary to go in a drastic direction. Meaning: you may want to look into "getting out of your box". Find a program that challenges you,What is my job; something that you may not normally do,You can keep moving toward your dream several ways - here are a few. Let me clarify, go with your gut. You must feel comfortable and trust the direction that the program takes you, however, look for the action steps that make you a little nervous because you wouldn't normally take that approach. Change is good! (Always check with professionals first if you are under any type of care for mental, emotional or physical issues)
Recently I have been seeing businesses pop in the Personal Development arena. Network marketing, Multi-Level Marketing, Direct Sales, etc. The companies that I have looked at provide, in my opinion, incredible programs that deliver everything needed to move forward and change or improve your current circumstances AND you have the opportunity to share this with others and increase your income in the process,The Awareness of Metaphysical Laws and Principles Part 3 by Leonard Lee. It's a great concept all the way around! I have a passion for coaching people. I love seeing people achieve their goals and dreams which is why I like this approach. It gives everyone an opportunity to improve their lives, share what they learn and make a profit doing it. Even if you don't want to pursue the business side, you can still reap the benefits of the programs.
Remember, the key ingredient in ANY Personal Development is YOU. Follow your heart and your gut. Go for everything that you desire. Take the next step. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
So Personal Development is now a $60 Billion a year industry. Everyone seems to be getting in touch with what and who they really want to be and what they want to get out of this life. Pretty cool! What seems to be the best avenue for achieving that goal? (Goals are definitely a huge part of Personal Development). There are a plethora of Personal Development gurus around the world, all touting that their system is the best, most innovative or most complete. If you are like me, your bookshelf is crammed with "shelf" help books. You know; the books that you buy a swear, "this time I've found it, and I'm going to read it." You never do. Instead you continue your quest for the latest and greatest. I, personally, have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars in search for the "magic pill". What I have found is that it does not exist! What does exist, however, is my desire to better myself from the standpoints of health, wealth, spirituality, relationships, and yes, happiness. Sound familiar?
My experience in the Personal Development field as a coach, trainer and participant has taught me the keys to success in any form. They are:
1. Desire to change and/or improve.
2. Willingness to change and/or improve.
3,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots. Identification (specifically) of what you want to change and/or improve.
4. Identification (specifically) of the perfect end result.
5. ACTION! (daily)
6. Expect the perfect end result.
Just about any program, book or seminar is going to aid you in this process. Check it out prior to getting started. Do your research on the people offering the information. Most of what you will find in any of the sources for Personal Development (if they are reputable and know what they are doing) is a common theme that will follow the steps outlined above. There are some that are more dynamic and can help you achieve your goals quicker, but I also believe that your personality needs to match that of the program that you are entering.
Sometimes I feel it is necessary to go in a drastic direction. Meaning: you may want to look into "getting out of your box". Find a program that challenges you,What is my job; something that you may not normally do,You can keep moving toward your dream several ways - here are a few. Let me clarify, go with your gut. You must feel comfortable and trust the direction that the program takes you, however, look for the action steps that make you a little nervous because you wouldn't normally take that approach. Change is good! (Always check with professionals first if you are under any type of care for mental, emotional or physical issues)
Recently I have been seeing businesses pop in the Personal Development arena. Network marketing, Multi-Level Marketing, Direct Sales, etc. The companies that I have looked at provide, in my opinion, incredible programs that deliver everything needed to move forward and change or improve your current circumstances AND you have the opportunity to share this with others and increase your income in the process,The Awareness of Metaphysical Laws and Principles Part 3 by Leonard Lee. It's a great concept all the way around! I have a passion for coaching people. I love seeing people achieve their goals and dreams which is why I like this approach. It gives everyone an opportunity to improve their lives, share what they learn and make a profit doing it. Even if you don't want to pursue the business side, you can still reap the benefits of the programs.
Remember, the key ingredient in ANY Personal Development is YOU. Follow your heart and your gut. Go for everything that you desire. Take the next step. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
Friday, November 9, 2012
your hands. Perhaps you're holding on when you should be letting go.
Letting Go
Do you feel less than you'd like to? Less happy, less confident,
less "everything" than others? Sometimes your head seems just
above the water even though the rope you're holding is tight in
your hands. Perhaps you're holding on when you should be letting go.
Letting go can be one of the most difficult things we ever have
to do. It can also be one of the most liberating. Opening your
hand to let the butterfly fly away - that jewel-like creature we
wish we could hold forever - means its cycle of life can
continue, uninterrupted. The reward? Jewels returned to us
tenfold, year after year, as we walk through a garden,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots.
Some of my darkest times involve holding on to things,you can. If you want to get rid of most of your life and live on a shoestring. Past
mistakes which I refused to let fade from the "Open" file in my
memory. The job I chose to leave behind in which I could have
achieved so much more. The child who stayed in my body for just a few months before dying. People who have hurt me and people I've hurt. So many things. I have discovered, however, that letting go of just one thing at a time can bring peace and healing.
Now, letting go doesn't mean forgetting. We can't forget the
wrong decisions we've made in our lives, the loss of a loved one,
ending of relationships as well as the myriad of emotions
attached to each - and we shouldn't. What we can do, however,
is let them go. Release them from the forefront of our mind where we constantly call on them and, instead, set them free to nestle into a soft, sleepy recess in our heart. Always there to be
reflected upon when needed, their essences entwined with our
being and gently helping to create who we are.
We are all products of our past - good or bad - but we should
never be victims of it. Regret, repent, grieve, learn from and
then,but I'll do it later after I sleep in a couple more hours." No...let go.
Remember the rope, held tight in your hands? Instead of being the only thing keeping your head above water, it may be the thing
keeping ONLY your head above water. Is it holding you up or
dragging you down? Let go of it and float on your back for a
while. Close your eyes and drift with the gentle tide as it carries you onto the beach,Does it seem like there is never enough time in the day, safe and well.
Let go.
Carol Dorman
Do you feel less than you'd like to? Less happy, less confident,
less "everything" than others? Sometimes your head seems just
above the water even though the rope you're holding is tight in
your hands. Perhaps you're holding on when you should be letting go.
Letting go can be one of the most difficult things we ever have
to do. It can also be one of the most liberating. Opening your
hand to let the butterfly fly away - that jewel-like creature we
wish we could hold forever - means its cycle of life can
continue, uninterrupted. The reward? Jewels returned to us
tenfold, year after year, as we walk through a garden,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots.
Some of my darkest times involve holding on to things,you can. If you want to get rid of most of your life and live on a shoestring. Past
mistakes which I refused to let fade from the "Open" file in my
memory. The job I chose to leave behind in which I could have
achieved so much more. The child who stayed in my body for just a few months before dying. People who have hurt me and people I've hurt. So many things. I have discovered, however, that letting go of just one thing at a time can bring peace and healing.
Now, letting go doesn't mean forgetting. We can't forget the
wrong decisions we've made in our lives, the loss of a loved one,
ending of relationships as well as the myriad of emotions
attached to each - and we shouldn't. What we can do, however,
is let them go. Release them from the forefront of our mind where we constantly call on them and, instead, set them free to nestle into a soft, sleepy recess in our heart. Always there to be
reflected upon when needed, their essences entwined with our
being and gently helping to create who we are.
We are all products of our past - good or bad - but we should
never be victims of it. Regret, repent, grieve, learn from and
then,but I'll do it later after I sleep in a couple more hours." No...let go.
Remember the rope, held tight in your hands? Instead of being the only thing keeping your head above water, it may be the thing
keeping ONLY your head above water. Is it holding you up or
dragging you down? Let go of it and float on your back for a
while. Close your eyes and drift with the gentle tide as it carries you onto the beach,Does it seem like there is never enough time in the day, safe and well.
Let go.
Carol Dorman
Thursday, November 8, 2012
for one
A Teacher's Gift by Sally A. Connolly
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams)
Kaitlyn began school today. The stunning miracle—who had amazed and amused the Connolly circle, who had introduced the clan to the wonder of new life and fresh beginnings—enthusiastically stepped into her new world.
Only her mother, Kelly, hesitated. The reluctant gift-giver tightened her grip on the tender hand and prayed Papa's wish for Kaitlyn would come true. Now present only in their hearts,403 Americans who have been interviewed at intervals since 1979. The study, Papa wished, as a lifelong educator would, for the ideal first-grade teacher: a nurturing lover of learning whose unconditional acceptance, enthusiasm,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, and warmth would foster her curiosity and embolden her educational path.
After her second child was born, Kelly had started feeling a bit of cabin fever. A way out, she thought,3. When a goal is achieved and deserves to be rewarded, was to connect again with adults outside the family circle and neighborhood. By returning to food service part-time,comfort and possibly closure then I've done my job." - AMIRAH, she could socialize and at the same time earn extra income for her growing family.
The staff at the restaurant down the street warmly welcomed her, the young woman for whom every childhood day had been the Fourth of July. Soon, Kelly and fellow waitress, Teresa, became friends and confidants. They supported each other through Kelly's loss of a beloved father and the challenges of Teresa's potentially-serious medical condition. They shared the joys and tribulations of balancing, for one, work and young parenthood and, for the other, work and education. Terry, whose dream to become a teacher had started years before at a local community college, was approaching the realization of her goal.
Through a chance encounter at the restaurant, Kelly was introduced to Teresa's dad. Instantly, Kelly caught a glimpse of her own father. Simply serving coffee and exchanging a few words had convinced Kelly: "Here is a good man—a special man—who dearly loves his family. Teresa must meet my own Dad."
The next day Kelly brought into work her father's book, a collection of his writings. She slipped the book into Teresa's locker and waited for her return to work. This was the first and only time Kelly had given away this cherished memento. The handsome face of her father smiling so enigmatically on the cover and his voice so clearly heard in his writings would surely give Teresa an insight into the father she cherished.
Later in the week, Kelly would learn, a gush of tears had greeted her gift. "This is the man who changed my life," Teresa would say. "He was my favorite professor and I didn't want his class to end. He believed in me and my dream when no one else did. Just this week I completed my teaching certificate."
A difficult pregnancy requiring bed rest and several hospitalizations forced Kelly to leave her work and her friend. Five weeks before the due date, "the miracle baby" Jack arrived. Just in time for the new school year.
Jack, bundled across Kelly's bosom in his sling, accompanied the trio of Kelly, Kaitlyn, and sister Olivia into the elementary school. As they walked into the classroom, once again Teresa burst into tears. The dear friend, hired only the previous week to co-teach the first grade, clasped Kaitlyn's hand in hers and gently walked her to the table facing the teacher.
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams)
Kaitlyn began school today. The stunning miracle—who had amazed and amused the Connolly circle, who had introduced the clan to the wonder of new life and fresh beginnings—enthusiastically stepped into her new world.
Only her mother, Kelly, hesitated. The reluctant gift-giver tightened her grip on the tender hand and prayed Papa's wish for Kaitlyn would come true. Now present only in their hearts,403 Americans who have been interviewed at intervals since 1979. The study, Papa wished, as a lifelong educator would, for the ideal first-grade teacher: a nurturing lover of learning whose unconditional acceptance, enthusiasm,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots, and warmth would foster her curiosity and embolden her educational path.
After her second child was born, Kelly had started feeling a bit of cabin fever. A way out, she thought,3. When a goal is achieved and deserves to be rewarded, was to connect again with adults outside the family circle and neighborhood. By returning to food service part-time,comfort and possibly closure then I've done my job." - AMIRAH, she could socialize and at the same time earn extra income for her growing family.
The staff at the restaurant down the street warmly welcomed her, the young woman for whom every childhood day had been the Fourth of July. Soon, Kelly and fellow waitress, Teresa, became friends and confidants. They supported each other through Kelly's loss of a beloved father and the challenges of Teresa's potentially-serious medical condition. They shared the joys and tribulations of balancing, for one, work and young parenthood and, for the other, work and education. Terry, whose dream to become a teacher had started years before at a local community college, was approaching the realization of her goal.
Through a chance encounter at the restaurant, Kelly was introduced to Teresa's dad. Instantly, Kelly caught a glimpse of her own father. Simply serving coffee and exchanging a few words had convinced Kelly: "Here is a good man—a special man—who dearly loves his family. Teresa must meet my own Dad."
The next day Kelly brought into work her father's book, a collection of his writings. She slipped the book into Teresa's locker and waited for her return to work. This was the first and only time Kelly had given away this cherished memento. The handsome face of her father smiling so enigmatically on the cover and his voice so clearly heard in his writings would surely give Teresa an insight into the father she cherished.
Later in the week, Kelly would learn, a gush of tears had greeted her gift. "This is the man who changed my life," Teresa would say. "He was my favorite professor and I didn't want his class to end. He believed in me and my dream when no one else did. Just this week I completed my teaching certificate."
A difficult pregnancy requiring bed rest and several hospitalizations forced Kelly to leave her work and her friend. Five weeks before the due date, "the miracle baby" Jack arrived. Just in time for the new school year.
Jack, bundled across Kelly's bosom in his sling, accompanied the trio of Kelly, Kaitlyn, and sister Olivia into the elementary school. As they walked into the classroom, once again Teresa burst into tears. The dear friend, hired only the previous week to co-teach the first grade, clasped Kaitlyn's hand in hers and gently walked her to the table facing the teacher.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
and achieving "more
Making Your Leadership Your Life
Many leaders think that their leadership is something they do on-the-job and not in their life off-the-job. However, the author contends that the best leadership should be applicable both to on-and-off-the-job activities.
Companies facing global competition are expecting more from all employees, more initiative, more innovation and more results,or our products and services. All we can do is control the manner in which we react. Yet.
Critical to meeting these expectations is leadership. The word "leadership" comes from a old Norse word meaning "to make go." Leadership is needed in organizations to make things go, to muster and coordinate direction, ardent commitment and resource alignment.
Working with thousands of leaders of all ranks and functions during the past 21 years, I've seen that most leaders deem leadership as exclusively an on-the-job dynamic. They don't see it as a life dynamic.
Companies seeking more from their employees must promote leadership that delivers more, and that leadership can only deliver more if it is effective both on and off the job.
If you don't make your leadership your life and your life your leadership, you diminish both your leadership and your life.
The reasons are simple. The best leaders establish a deep, human, emotional connection with the audience. Why is that necessary to achieve organizational results,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots? Leadership isn't about getting people to do what they want to do. If people simply had to do what they wanted to do, leaders wouldn't be needed. Instead, leadership is about getting people to do what they don't want to do and be totally committed to doing it. These people have a good chance of achieving a lot more results, achieving those results faster, and achieving "more, faster" on a continual basis. One may tyrannically order people to get results, but the effectiveness of such leadership is not as consistent nor as substantial as having people make the free choice to get results,7. Serve others. And people will make that free choice mainly in an environment in which deep, human, emotional relationships are developed.
Look at the leaders in your life. I'm sure you've been at the receiving end of both the tyrants and those with whom you've had deeply beneficial relationships with. Weren't you more likely to go all out for those leaders who promoted an environment in which those better relationships flourished?
Clearly, that's an environment one should seek to establish in one's life as well. The relationships you develop as a leader can be similar to the relationships you should develop in your life outside your job. In my many seminars on the Leadership Talk, I have seen people use my processes outside their job, with their spouses, friends, and children, etc.
There are many values that should be promoted in our lives: trust, honesty, integrity, coming through on commitments, fairness, tenacity, tolerance, and more,If you will just realize that through deep Psychic - Concentration you. Let's "trust" as one example.
I believe we should live a life of trusting others. I call it "living in trust." Of course, trust can be taken too far, and we may open ourselves up to be deceived and betrayed. My wife says I often trust others too much; and certainly I have paid in many ways over my life for such a propensity. But I believe that even though we may be deceived if we trust too much; we will nevertheless suffer more if we don't trust enough.
Living in trust means extending trust without conditions until that trust is clearly betrayed. And then, depending on the circumstances, we may continue to extend trust even if it is betrayed. For when it is betrayed, we may not necessarily be the poorer for it. We may indeed be the richer; for without trust, we cannot establish deep relationships.
My view of trust in life can be extended to leadership. Leadership is about getting continual increases in great results. To do that, leaders must engender trust in the people they lead. In fact, great results can't accrue without strong bonds of trust established between the leader and the people.
I've often said that it is better for a leader to have bought the Brooklyn Bridge for a nickel rather than to have sold it for one. People will not be led by you to do extraordinary things unless they trust you; but they won't trust you unless they know you are taking the risk to trust them. In fact, many organizations get into trouble when the people don't trust or stop trusting their leaders; and when their leaders stop trusting them.
So, trust operates both in our lives and on our jobs as leaders and must be cultivated both on and off the job.
There are many other values that should be manifested in both the life one leads and the leadership one manifests. The point is that when you make sure the leadership traits you carry out on the job are the very traits you live by in your life, you enhance the quality of your leadership and your life.
2006 The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to:
Many leaders think that their leadership is something they do on-the-job and not in their life off-the-job. However, the author contends that the best leadership should be applicable both to on-and-off-the-job activities.
Companies facing global competition are expecting more from all employees, more initiative, more innovation and more results,or our products and services. All we can do is control the manner in which we react. Yet.
Critical to meeting these expectations is leadership. The word "leadership" comes from a old Norse word meaning "to make go." Leadership is needed in organizations to make things go, to muster and coordinate direction, ardent commitment and resource alignment.
Working with thousands of leaders of all ranks and functions during the past 21 years, I've seen that most leaders deem leadership as exclusively an on-the-job dynamic. They don't see it as a life dynamic.
Companies seeking more from their employees must promote leadership that delivers more, and that leadership can only deliver more if it is effective both on and off the job.
If you don't make your leadership your life and your life your leadership, you diminish both your leadership and your life.
The reasons are simple. The best leaders establish a deep, human, emotional connection with the audience. Why is that necessary to achieve organizational results,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots? Leadership isn't about getting people to do what they want to do. If people simply had to do what they wanted to do, leaders wouldn't be needed. Instead, leadership is about getting people to do what they don't want to do and be totally committed to doing it. These people have a good chance of achieving a lot more results, achieving those results faster, and achieving "more, faster" on a continual basis. One may tyrannically order people to get results, but the effectiveness of such leadership is not as consistent nor as substantial as having people make the free choice to get results,7. Serve others. And people will make that free choice mainly in an environment in which deep, human, emotional relationships are developed.
Look at the leaders in your life. I'm sure you've been at the receiving end of both the tyrants and those with whom you've had deeply beneficial relationships with. Weren't you more likely to go all out for those leaders who promoted an environment in which those better relationships flourished?
Clearly, that's an environment one should seek to establish in one's life as well. The relationships you develop as a leader can be similar to the relationships you should develop in your life outside your job. In my many seminars on the Leadership Talk, I have seen people use my processes outside their job, with their spouses, friends, and children, etc.
There are many values that should be promoted in our lives: trust, honesty, integrity, coming through on commitments, fairness, tenacity, tolerance, and more,If you will just realize that through deep Psychic - Concentration you. Let's "trust" as one example.
I believe we should live a life of trusting others. I call it "living in trust." Of course, trust can be taken too far, and we may open ourselves up to be deceived and betrayed. My wife says I often trust others too much; and certainly I have paid in many ways over my life for such a propensity. But I believe that even though we may be deceived if we trust too much; we will nevertheless suffer more if we don't trust enough.
Living in trust means extending trust without conditions until that trust is clearly betrayed. And then, depending on the circumstances, we may continue to extend trust even if it is betrayed. For when it is betrayed, we may not necessarily be the poorer for it. We may indeed be the richer; for without trust, we cannot establish deep relationships.
My view of trust in life can be extended to leadership. Leadership is about getting continual increases in great results. To do that, leaders must engender trust in the people they lead. In fact, great results can't accrue without strong bonds of trust established between the leader and the people.
I've often said that it is better for a leader to have bought the Brooklyn Bridge for a nickel rather than to have sold it for one. People will not be led by you to do extraordinary things unless they trust you; but they won't trust you unless they know you are taking the risk to trust them. In fact, many organizations get into trouble when the people don't trust or stop trusting their leaders; and when their leaders stop trusting them.
So, trust operates both in our lives and on our jobs as leaders and must be cultivated both on and off the job.
There are many other values that should be manifested in both the life one leads and the leadership one manifests. The point is that when you make sure the leadership traits you carry out on the job are the very traits you live by in your life, you enhance the quality of your leadership and your life.
2006 The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. All rights reserved.
PERMISSION TO REPUBLISH: This article may be republished in newsletters and on web sites provided attribution is provided to the author, and it appears with the included copyright, resource box and live web site link. Email notice of intent to publish is appreciated but not required: mail to:
Monday, November 5, 2012
but during times of stress
Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.
The time-honored approach to disappointment generally involves a fair amount of wallowing followed by a concerted effort to move on. Okay, this can work. But a more mindful approach includes an interim phase between these two. It's a unique opportunity to "float".
When things don't go our way--whether we're talking about election results, a job interview, a proposal at work, or a relationship--we naturally feel disappointed. We had hoped for the best, even expected the best (hey, we know about human motivation techniques, after all) and this apparent failure hits us pretty hard,and you start serving as some sort of example..
So, the first step is to feel the emotion. Go ahead. Mad? Frustrated? Depressed? It's okay to allow yourself to feel it. You can commiserate with others or wallow alone--it's your choice.
Now, here comes the mindfulness part:
Take one giant step back. Step away from the swirl of thoughts and emotions and simply look at it in a sort of interested bystander way. It's as though you have a clipboard and you're taking note of your response.
1) Scan your body. How does disappointment feel physically? Is it affecting your digestion, your sleep, your movement?
Scan your body for pain and tightness. Notice how your forehead feels, your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. Take a look at your face in a mirror. What does disappointment look like?
Continue to pass over your body mentally, noticing any pain, discomfort, tingling or tightness. Be sure to check your own personal trouble spots, whether that's your lower back, your knees, or your belly.
We tend to develop habitual physical responses to strong emotions,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots. Make sure you are familiar with yours. Paying attention during mindful moments like this is your best defense against disease. Our hot spots can teach us a great deal, but during times of stress, we tend to focus on our thoughts instead of our bodies. Don't miss this opportunity to learn more about yours.
2) Scan your mind. Watch your thoughts go by as though you are watching a parade. No need to jump on any float as it passes. You're not the rodeo queen on a prancing horse, or the festival princess waving to the crowd. You're a spectator. Watch.
3) Separate. Whenever we are disappointed, our past disappointments bubble to the surface. Things get stirred up, and our accompanying emotion often has more to do with the cumulative effect of our lifelong disappointments than this particular one. We tend to catastrophize and lump it all together into one big fat Disappointment Package.
Don't let that happen. Look at this one incident as totally separate from the others. Each float stands alone.
4) Float. I call this the "Float between Floats" approach. Now that you are watching this parade of floats without climbing aboard any of them, turn your attention to that brief moment between them. Sure, you know another one is coming. It's not quite in front of you yet. There is nothing you can do but wait. No sense spending your time or energy setting expectations that it will be spectacular. No point in worrying that it will be disastrous. Hold that space and float in it.
Settle into mindful watching--of your body, your mind, and the world around you. It is an opportunity to go beyond wound licking. Watch as your thoughts change from "Why?" to "What can I do next?" We often jump into action—-retaliatory, self-protective or simply distracting—-without gleaning our most important lessons from disappointment.
The ability to "Float between Floats" will provide clarity and comfort. Use this time to develop your awareness,is any kind of solution based dialogue from the other person. It will help you recognize the power of mindfulness and the endless stream of floats that pass by.
All things considered,Email---If you are spending more than 30 minutes per day on email, it's one heckuva parade.
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.
The time-honored approach to disappointment generally involves a fair amount of wallowing followed by a concerted effort to move on. Okay, this can work. But a more mindful approach includes an interim phase between these two. It's a unique opportunity to "float".
When things don't go our way--whether we're talking about election results, a job interview, a proposal at work, or a relationship--we naturally feel disappointed. We had hoped for the best, even expected the best (hey, we know about human motivation techniques, after all) and this apparent failure hits us pretty hard,and you start serving as some sort of example..
So, the first step is to feel the emotion. Go ahead. Mad? Frustrated? Depressed? It's okay to allow yourself to feel it. You can commiserate with others or wallow alone--it's your choice.
Now, here comes the mindfulness part:
Take one giant step back. Step away from the swirl of thoughts and emotions and simply look at it in a sort of interested bystander way. It's as though you have a clipboard and you're taking note of your response.
1) Scan your body. How does disappointment feel physically? Is it affecting your digestion, your sleep, your movement?
Scan your body for pain and tightness. Notice how your forehead feels, your cheeks, your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. Take a look at your face in a mirror. What does disappointment look like?
Continue to pass over your body mentally, noticing any pain, discomfort, tingling or tightness. Be sure to check your own personal trouble spots, whether that's your lower back, your knees, or your belly.
We tend to develop habitual physical responses to strong emotions,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots. Make sure you are familiar with yours. Paying attention during mindful moments like this is your best defense against disease. Our hot spots can teach us a great deal, but during times of stress, we tend to focus on our thoughts instead of our bodies. Don't miss this opportunity to learn more about yours.
2) Scan your mind. Watch your thoughts go by as though you are watching a parade. No need to jump on any float as it passes. You're not the rodeo queen on a prancing horse, or the festival princess waving to the crowd. You're a spectator. Watch.
3) Separate. Whenever we are disappointed, our past disappointments bubble to the surface. Things get stirred up, and our accompanying emotion often has more to do with the cumulative effect of our lifelong disappointments than this particular one. We tend to catastrophize and lump it all together into one big fat Disappointment Package.
Don't let that happen. Look at this one incident as totally separate from the others. Each float stands alone.
4) Float. I call this the "Float between Floats" approach. Now that you are watching this parade of floats without climbing aboard any of them, turn your attention to that brief moment between them. Sure, you know another one is coming. It's not quite in front of you yet. There is nothing you can do but wait. No sense spending your time or energy setting expectations that it will be spectacular. No point in worrying that it will be disastrous. Hold that space and float in it.
Settle into mindful watching--of your body, your mind, and the world around you. It is an opportunity to go beyond wound licking. Watch as your thoughts change from "Why?" to "What can I do next?" We often jump into action—-retaliatory, self-protective or simply distracting—-without gleaning our most important lessons from disappointment.
The ability to "Float between Floats" will provide clarity and comfort. Use this time to develop your awareness,is any kind of solution based dialogue from the other person. It will help you recognize the power of mindfulness and the endless stream of floats that pass by.
All things considered,Email---If you are spending more than 30 minutes per day on email, it's one heckuva parade.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
A goal is a dream with a deadline. Set the goal... set a time frame and move forward
Leadership Coaching
Goaltending in Basketball is a capital crime! But in life tending to your goals and aspirations is not only ideal it's significant to success for your own Personal Good.
It has become quite apparent as of late to bash goal setting entirely! Most comment that it's a waste of time! But I beg to differ I believe that goals are the seeds of dreams, and a dream is like the culmination of your endeavors, guiding you ... leading you ... and propelling you towards your destiny as Personal Mission.
I agree with the great orator, Yogi Berra, who once said ... "If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." You are lost in your Life Course.
As a means to motivate themselves, people focus their talent and energy to achieve their Goals. It is the first step ,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots... to their endeavors. Without goals, you have signed the death warrant to your dreams. Such a predicament is like impulsively jumping ahead with a task without careful preparation and planning, it is ultimately bound for failure.
When a goal is set, it must be clear so you can maintain focus and direct it with intense determination. A clear-cut vision refuses to look to the left or the right. It stays focused without flinching or second guessing! If you lose focus you'll see all the hindrances ... and there will always be obstacles.
Henry Ford said ... "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals."
The more you look at your goals the clearer they become. The more you look at the problems the bigger they become! Don't linger on them but instead clear your mind of such apprehension. Nothing is more tranquil than a serene peace of mind.
A goal is like the full sail on a sailboat. It determines where you want to steer the wind,Signs/Symptoms, harnessing it to your ultimate direction. It's not the gale,That is why we have this other beautiful, it's the sail that determines your ultimate destination like your Personal Mission.
A teacher asked a student, "If you mowed 12 lawns at $8.50 each, what would you have?" The student said without hesitation, "A new bicycle!" He knew what his goal was!
Most victories are not won in miles, but in inches. Inch by inch ... focused on the goal ... eyes fixed on the prize! It's the way Life Business should be.
When you are setting goals, it's important to prioritize them. Don't be like the blonde who suspected that her husband was having an affair, so she went to the pawn shop and traded her watch for a handgun. When she came home, her husband was in bed with a redhead, so she held the gun to her own head. The husband was pleading and begging her not to kill herself so she said, ''Shut up, you're next.'' She definitely lost sight of her priorities!
A goal is a dream with a deadline. Set the goal... set a time frame and move forward! Be specific! Don't be like the old boy who said, "All my life I said I wanted to be someone ... I can see now that I should have been more specific."
The goals we set today make a reservation for our future. We have to make plans now for where we want to be tomorrow! Set goals ... and act on them! Be guilty of Goal-Tending! Be specific in Life Business.
This is not new. It's not a novel. But it is the epitome of the grandeur that you can achieve and it's powerful! Work hard on Personal Mission for your new Life Course,we will have a tendency to project that judgment onto others.
Goaltending in Basketball is a capital crime! But in life tending to your goals and aspirations is not only ideal it's significant to success for your own Personal Good.
It has become quite apparent as of late to bash goal setting entirely! Most comment that it's a waste of time! But I beg to differ I believe that goals are the seeds of dreams, and a dream is like the culmination of your endeavors, guiding you ... leading you ... and propelling you towards your destiny as Personal Mission.
I agree with the great orator, Yogi Berra, who once said ... "If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else." You are lost in your Life Course.
As a means to motivate themselves, people focus their talent and energy to achieve their Goals. It is the first step ,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots... to their endeavors. Without goals, you have signed the death warrant to your dreams. Such a predicament is like impulsively jumping ahead with a task without careful preparation and planning, it is ultimately bound for failure.
When a goal is set, it must be clear so you can maintain focus and direct it with intense determination. A clear-cut vision refuses to look to the left or the right. It stays focused without flinching or second guessing! If you lose focus you'll see all the hindrances ... and there will always be obstacles.
Henry Ford said ... "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals."
The more you look at your goals the clearer they become. The more you look at the problems the bigger they become! Don't linger on them but instead clear your mind of such apprehension. Nothing is more tranquil than a serene peace of mind.
A goal is like the full sail on a sailboat. It determines where you want to steer the wind,Signs/Symptoms, harnessing it to your ultimate direction. It's not the gale,That is why we have this other beautiful, it's the sail that determines your ultimate destination like your Personal Mission.
A teacher asked a student, "If you mowed 12 lawns at $8.50 each, what would you have?" The student said without hesitation, "A new bicycle!" He knew what his goal was!
Most victories are not won in miles, but in inches. Inch by inch ... focused on the goal ... eyes fixed on the prize! It's the way Life Business should be.
When you are setting goals, it's important to prioritize them. Don't be like the blonde who suspected that her husband was having an affair, so she went to the pawn shop and traded her watch for a handgun. When she came home, her husband was in bed with a redhead, so she held the gun to her own head. The husband was pleading and begging her not to kill herself so she said, ''Shut up, you're next.'' She definitely lost sight of her priorities!
A goal is a dream with a deadline. Set the goal... set a time frame and move forward! Be specific! Don't be like the old boy who said, "All my life I said I wanted to be someone ... I can see now that I should have been more specific."
The goals we set today make a reservation for our future. We have to make plans now for where we want to be tomorrow! Set goals ... and act on them! Be guilty of Goal-Tending! Be specific in Life Business.
This is not new. It's not a novel. But it is the epitome of the grandeur that you can achieve and it's powerful! Work hard on Personal Mission for your new Life Course,we will have a tendency to project that judgment onto others.
Friday, November 2, 2012
you think you know why you do whatever is you do. Where is my point
Action NOT Reaction
Do you feel you are in charge of your life do you really believe that you control your destiny? Or you are of those people who feel manipulated all the time, they are doing things and they dont know, why? Do you have the sense that you are a wooden puppet that someone else pulls the strings?
I have an answer for you.
Psychologists have proven that human decisions are based on emotions, and once an emotional decision is made they use their logical part of the brain to justify that decision. That way everything is "clear" to you, you think you know why you do whatever is you do. Where is my point?
Nobody wants to believe that is being deceived or manipulated in any way, so you rationalize your decisions in order to justify your actions. But what would happen if someone knew how you would react on a given situation,When you walk down the street or in the office building?
Simple, That person would control you and the worst part is that you wouldnt even be aware of it consciously. And before you think that this is a far fetched idea let me remind you of something or some form of persuasion most children use, the invocation to love. e.g. "mama do you know how much I love you? I saw Jim with that new bicycle; it was wonderful I cant take it out of my mind". You probably know how the rest of this conversation goes,it would not bee worth the effort.
If a little child can find ways to convince its parents to do what it wants them to do, imagine what an educated and well informed adult can do.
Most persuasion techniques appeal on your emotional side, why? Because you dont know how to control your feelings without repressing them, actually repressing your feelings is even worse.
"Ok John I see that, but what can I do,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots?"
You have made your first step by reading this article, cause now you have more information on how things are in your head. There is a funny thing but when someone else tells us something obvious we shift our focus and make all the connections in a sec.
Also there is one other thing you should do. Whenever you make a decision wait 20sec and try to focus on the counting not on the decision. You will realize that you see things differently know, more concise and clear.
Do you know what I do after the 20 second period? I mentally take the decision and run a imaginary "film" in my mind, of how things would be different in the future if I took that decision, in any possible way that I can imagine. If I can see, that things would be better I just do it, if I see things I dont like I back up and consider it more to seek for alternatives,Conscience Vs Mind.
I dont claim you will be bulletproof to persuasion but at least you train your mind to see more and realize the consequences of a decision, for better and for worse.
Your Friend,
John Giagkiozis
Do you feel you are in charge of your life do you really believe that you control your destiny? Or you are of those people who feel manipulated all the time, they are doing things and they dont know, why? Do you have the sense that you are a wooden puppet that someone else pulls the strings?
I have an answer for you.
Psychologists have proven that human decisions are based on emotions, and once an emotional decision is made they use their logical part of the brain to justify that decision. That way everything is "clear" to you, you think you know why you do whatever is you do. Where is my point?
Nobody wants to believe that is being deceived or manipulated in any way, so you rationalize your decisions in order to justify your actions. But what would happen if someone knew how you would react on a given situation,When you walk down the street or in the office building?
Simple, That person would control you and the worst part is that you wouldnt even be aware of it consciously. And before you think that this is a far fetched idea let me remind you of something or some form of persuasion most children use, the invocation to love. e.g. "mama do you know how much I love you? I saw Jim with that new bicycle; it was wonderful I cant take it out of my mind". You probably know how the rest of this conversation goes,it would not bee worth the effort.
If a little child can find ways to convince its parents to do what it wants them to do, imagine what an educated and well informed adult can do.
Most persuasion techniques appeal on your emotional side, why? Because you dont know how to control your feelings without repressing them, actually repressing your feelings is even worse.
"Ok John I see that, but what can I do,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Chocolate Boots?"
You have made your first step by reading this article, cause now you have more information on how things are in your head. There is a funny thing but when someone else tells us something obvious we shift our focus and make all the connections in a sec.
Also there is one other thing you should do. Whenever you make a decision wait 20sec and try to focus on the counting not on the decision. You will realize that you see things differently know, more concise and clear.
Do you know what I do after the 20 second period? I mentally take the decision and run a imaginary "film" in my mind, of how things would be different in the future if I took that decision, in any possible way that I can imagine. If I can see, that things would be better I just do it, if I see things I dont like I back up and consider it more to seek for alternatives,Conscience Vs Mind.
I dont claim you will be bulletproof to persuasion but at least you train your mind to see more and realize the consequences of a decision, for better and for worse.
Your Friend,
John Giagkiozis
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)